How Infant Formula Played a Roll in my Evolution

Before and during pregnancy and even days after child birth I never had a doubt that I would breastfeed Maddy. Not once did any other possibility cross my mind. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Before you jump to conclusions, I did not give up because it was too hard or because it was inconvenient. My body failed me. Five days after Maddy's birth she had lost 12 ounces of her body weight. to give you an idea of what that meant for her, my little 6 pound 3 ounce baby had lost nearly 20% of her body weight. As it turns out I was producing almost no milk. As in less than an ounce in a full 24 hours. An ounce in not enough for one meal for a baby let alone a full days worth of meals.
I was devastated. We tried different things to get my milk production up but nothing seemed to help. I continued to try to breastfeed Madeline all while supplementing with formula. Eventually we realized that while Madeline was eating more and more my milk production had not changed and she was less and less interested in the breast and more and more interested in the bottle.

The overwhelming guilt I felt at "failing" to be able to feed my own child was crushing. I cried a lot. In fact I still get a knot in my throat when I think about it. I felt embarrassed for and disappointed in my body. What kind of mother can't breastfeed her baby? It took a long time for me to be able to think rationally about the situation. so for a long time I let Madeline take part of the blame telling people that part of the problem was that she was a "lazy sucker" and not that interested in breastfeeding. Really, she only became uninterested in breastfeeding after she had figured out that it wasn't going to get her anything, but I can't fault her for that because it makes sense. Even so at the time it was easier to let the baby take some of the blame off of my shoulders than to broadcast to everyone I knew that I was a bad mother. I know better than that now.


It took a while for me to feel comfortable enough to share the real story. The truth is my body didn't do what it needed to do but that did not, does not and will not mean I am a bad mother. This is my body and while it couldn't produce the milk I needed to feed my child it sure did carry and deliver a healthy and beautiful full-term baby. I guess no one is perfect, I know that I am not, and I am thankful that my body's imperfection did not equal a death sentence for my sweet baby girl.

We are lucky enough to live in a time and place where something like powdered formula is readily available. Formula was not something I had ever considered. When I was told that Madeline needed formula in order to keep her body from reaching a dangerously low weight Luke and I were clueless about everything formula related. Brands and types meant nothing to us.

I know there are people out there who are judging this story and thinking I did everything wrong, I might handle things differently now but we did what we did with the knowledge we had at the time.

When we got to the store to buy our first round of formula we were stunned at how much it cost. Here we were a couple of young parents trying to move to one income and add another person into the mix all at the same time. Lots of people do it, but never once did we think about preparing our shrinking budget to include room for formula. On top of the emotional toll formula was taking on me the sudden addition of formula to our grocery bill was scary. The scariest part was that we knew that the amount we spent on formula would only go up as Madeline grew and ate more. Stress. Stress. Stress.

I remember standing in the grocery aisle with my husband comparing the different formula's trying to figure out if there was any way for us to save even the smallest amount of money. We had spent enough time comparing labels to notice that the amounts of every ingredient seemed to be the same between one name-brand formula, and several of it's store-brand competitors. Yet even though the store-brand was cheaper and seemed the same we continued using the name-brand, because obviously the name brand was better, right? Isn't that how we are raised, you pay for what you get? Well sometimes yes and sometimes no.

At Madeline's 2 month well baby appointment our pediatrician shocked us when she let us know that nutritionally there was no difference between the name-brand we had been using and the store-brands we had spent so much time looking at but never touching. Our buying practices changed that day and right now I have a healthy 2 year old daughter even without feeding her name-brand formula through her bottle drinking years.

Even with buying the store-brand formula some weeks Madeline's formula ate up more than half of our weekly food budget, but buying the store-brand saved us money quite a bit of money compared to if we had continued to buy the name-brand formulas.

I am sharing this information with you for a few reasons. If you are struggling with breastfeeding I want you to know that you are not alone and that you are not a failure as long as you continue to do your very best to give your baby the nutrition it needs. I am not advocating bottle feeding over breastfeeding. I'm advocating support and understanding for women who for one reason or another are not physically able to produce the nutrients their babies need. I know the heartbreak of not being able to feed my baby, I felt so alone. Yes, breast may be best but breast is not always possible.

I am also sharing my story because I think it is important that you know that according to the Mayo Clinic "All infant formulas sold in the United States must meet the same nutrient standards set by the FDA. Although manufacturers may vary in their formula recipes, the FDA requires that all formulas contain the same nutrient density." While name-brand infant formulas may try to tell you different through misleading advertising and information, store-brand formulas have to meet the same nutritional requirements as the name-brands. In a recent court judgment Mead Johnson, the makers of Enfamil, were found to have made false claims against store-brand infant formulas. Mead Johnson had suggested that store-brand formulas do not provide the same nutrition as Mead Johnson’s formula.

It upsets me that a company who we are trusting to help feed our children would make false claims in their advertising. Moms should know that there are less expensive formula options out there without feeling like they are shortchanging their children and not giving them the same nutrients.

I was lucky, someone shared this information with me early on and I was able to make a choice that worked for my family. This is just my personal experience but I think it is worth sharing. Your opinion on this topic may be different from mine but you have the right to be informed and make informed decisions about the things your child consumes. Don't take my word for it or any advertisement's for that matter, be an active consumer, read labels, ask questions and talk to your child's pediatrician before you make a decision concerning your child's nutrition.I am not an expert all I know is my own experience.

Additional resources for more information if you would like to learn more about the court case mentioned above or infant formula in general:
PBM: Case Press Release
Brandweek: Private Label Wins Legal Victory Over National Brand
BNet: A Desperate Mead Johnson Loses $13.5M Jury Verdict Over False Claims
U.S. Food and Drug Administration: Information concerning infant formula regulation.
Mayo Clinic: Infant formula: Which formula is right for your baby?
Consumer Reports: Five Ways to Save Money on Baby Stuff

* In the interest of full disclosure I have been compensated for this post, but all opinions, thoughts and personal experiences have in no way been altered or influenced by any other party. In other words, this is a very important topic for me and I would have shared this information with you regardless of compensation. The experience shared above is an honest and true story from the my life. The views above are mine alone and are not necessarily the views of any third party. Please consult with your doctor or health professional before making changes your baby's diet.